The Year of Change

So, evidently, Nouvelle Noire was somewhat abandoned during 2016. Many factor caused this. None of which are excuses, simply explanations.

Firstly, the demands of being in third year at university became overwhelming. That is not to say I had no down time. I did. However these were used binge-watching series in order to give my brain some form of rest. Despite this, by far, being my favourite year thus far, it is far more theory heavy. Whilst this is challenging, I'm absolutely loving it. As am I loving, controversially, writing my dissertation.  Some of my time has been spent over on my research blog, www.haute-horror.blogspot.com for anyone interested, writing content that varies from that of Nouvelle Noire.

Another factor contributing to my lack of presence was a sheer lack of inspiration and motivation. I cannot write when I'm not inspired. For me, creativity is so dependent on my mood. If I'm not in the right mood, I simply cannot put out a mediocre filler piece. Even the last post here, and any wish list type posts for me are below average and they are not how I want this space to be. I want to have original, engaging, and mostly enjoyable written or visual content.

Around March or April, I had an operation which I didn't recover from very well and ended up being pretty ill for a month or so. I recovered fine in the end, however one of the consequences of this was being pretty down for a while, which I definitely think affected my creativity. 

2016 had some amazing highlights. I went to Berlin, Brussels and Edinburgh, all of which were fantastic experiences. I interned at H&M press office, which taught me a lot. I continued writing for Stylenoir, which I've always enjoyed. I had such good days out in London and Brighton with friends, family and my boyfriend. I used to suffer from a thing called trichotillomania, essentially I would pull my eyelashes out, from boredom, habit or stress. This year I stopped doing it, and stopped relying on eyeliner and embraced a less drag queen inspired look - on occasions at least, I still love a heavy look! I moved into a house with people I like, after spending a year with a horrible housemate (and two nice ones, who I still live with). I had the best birthday I've ever had that involved a 4 day celebration with everyone I care about - and lots of prosecco! Since my Grandma died over Christmas a few years ago, December and the general Christmas period has never really been the same. This year however, I actually enjoyed December. I attended a family wedding at the beginning, went to Winter Wonderland with my boyfriend, then went to Edinburgh with him, and met up with a friend from school and college, and finally, had boxing day off for the first time in 3 years. Overall, despite the lack of creative inspiration, last year was, on the whole, pretty good.

Which brings me on to discuss the future of Nouvelle Noire, and it's creator, me. 2017 is set to be a year of change. I will (hopefully) graduate with some form of grade from Brighton in Fashion and Dress History, and then my next chapter begins. I'm still unsure what I want that chapter to be, however I have some ideas, such as a Masters in Gothic Studies, and a career in a creative industry.   2017 will be a year of decisions and actions that will shape my future - no pressure then!
Unlike many, who set themselves ridiculous New Years Resolutions, I instead thought of some New Years Goals - ideas and plans that I would like to achieve and are ultimately achievable. They are as follows:

Pretty self explanatory. Unless something, touch wood, awful happens in the next few months, I will be graduating. I would like to graduate with a good grade. I am very self critical when it comes to grades. In fact, despite being a fairly good student throughout school, college, and now university, I always set myself very high targets so tend to always be disappointed in myself. Nevertheless, I will still graduate this year, which leads me to...

I found my ideal Master's topic recently, in 'Gothic Studies' at St Mary's, Twickenham. There is another similar course in Manchester too, that I shall be looking at in February. After looking at the two universities and talking to their course leaders I need to decide if I definitely want to do it. At this moment in time, I definitely do. But I know I need to weigh up the pros and cons, the main con being putting myself into another £10,000 worth of student debt.

Be More Creative
As previously mentioned, last year I lacked inspiration. This year, I aim to spend less time watching series and more time writing or creating. I want to use photoshop more to create things. I was lucky enough to receive some more Polaroid film for my fuji instax, as well as a retro Olympus film camera plus film so I aim to use these this year. I also want to document my outfits this year. Wearing all black means that it can sometimes look like I pretty much only wear one outfit, so I want to prove that I don't. I also have a few projects I want to work on post-university that, for the foreseeable future, shall remain a secret. Watch this space.

Travel More and Do New Things
Although I did go to Europe twice last year, and Edinburgh, this year I definitely want to explore some more places. I've already booked to go to Belfast with my Mum in February, and as I mentioned above, I'm going to Manchester that month too to see the university I also want to go outside of the UK, such as Barcelona, Prague or Amsterdam (again). Closer to home, I really want to go to the Isle of Wight, to not only visit a friend who lives there, but to visit Osbourne House. Queen Victoria is definitely my favourite monarch - for those who don't know I'm secretly a huge Royalist- and Osbourne House looks beautiful!
Hand in hand with traveling is to do new things. I've living in Brighton for 2 and a half years now and have got into a somewhat rut of going to the same pubs all the time. There are so many bars, pubs, live music venues, restaurants and general places that I haven't yet experienced, so this year I want to go to new places and try new things as often as possible - or rather as often as my dissertation work will let me!

Find A Job
Despite looking into Master's, I plan to opt for part-time study so I need to find a full time job. Retail has served it's purpose whilst as university, however I definitely don't like people enough to pursue it any further. I've applied to a grad scheme and I have some other idea's for after graduation jobs, I just need to sort myself out and figure out what I want.

This is probably one of the most self-indulgent posts I've ever written but I felt it was needed, not only for content, but for me to look back on. Once these goals are out there, they're harder to go back on. Yes, I could just remove the post, but my stubborn self would rather achieve them rather than admit that I haven't.

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